2022 roundup of games I haven’t reviewed – Zero Punctuation

This week on Zero Punctuation, Yahtzee takes a roundup of all the video games he hasn’t reviewed in 2022.

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You fucking people. “Yahtzee, have you played Signalis? “Yahtzee, have you heard of Pentiment?” “Yahtzee, do you know the concept of video games?” Yes, I know a little about video games, a lot of which I haven’t reviewed because what ends up getting the Zero Punctuation treatment is decided by a very complex algorithm, a very small part of which is affected by commentators drooling in my ear like a watering can try to bridge a chasm. 2022 probably set a record for the most games people recommended to me by voice, usually on the basis that they’re like other games that I like, which is flawed logic. “Oh Yahtzee, you love masturbation, have you tried pulling a sausage roll out of its wrapper over and over again?” So I thought to myself, let’s cover them in the roundup of 2022 games I haven’t reviewed and maybe they’ll just shut up. And as long as I dream, I would also like a treadmill.

Signalis

Phwoar crikey no one could shut their mouths about this one, probably because it’s like Silent Hill 2 and loving Silent Hill 2 is the closest thing I have to religion. But Signalis isn’t just influenced by Silent Hill 2, it’s more like the result of someone who’s only played Silent Hill 2 for ten years and assumes that’s how you make games. So it’s this retro-style survival horror about animated robot girls in a vaguely Germanic oppressive space future that harbors quite a few plot points and little more than a few gameplay elements, motifs and atmospheric touches from Silent Hill 2, until at glowing red save points and jump into fetish holes. Still, it did enough to forge an identity of its own, but I didn’t finish it because I lost patience with the limited inventory system that meant I could explore the three or so rooms before the fanny pack of the Hello Kitty brand of my anime girl robot. was full and I had to go back to the save point room to unload six clips of ammo which I had very little use for because I quickly learned that combat is a cup game when bad girls robot anime characters are rude enough to keep picking up after a very firm shotgun for anime knackers but weirdly polite enough not to chase you through doors. This was all a bit too obscure for me as well, although that could be because the game didn’t allow me to carry a flashlight without using an inventory slot. What, you couldn’t hold it in your fucking mouth? Or is it a faux pas for robots? Like, is that the equivalent of performing cunnilingus on a small dog?

Case of the Golden Idol

Then in the world of things, what you’ll like because it’s like what you already like, like a game like Return of the Obra Dinn if it was smaller, less cohesive, and fully represented with Fuzzy Felt. In Golden Idol, we play a hypothetical bodiless essence who, for each mission, has to revolve around the last moment of some poor bugger’s life by rummaging through the pockets of everyone present, then filling in a few blanks on a form to show that we have understood the text. So it’s a deductive puzzle game with slightly off-putting MS Painty graphics. I wish there were better ways to catalog the information we find, and I haven’t had to endlessly hide in people’s pants to confirm details in the incriminating logs they all carry unfortunately. But it’s a fun little puzzler while it lasts, and it builds a story that’s fun enough to go back and piece together once you reach the end. As long as you can get past the fact that it looks like my old Amiga 600 threw up on a Victorian decorative hearth rug.

sleeper citizen

Continuing the theme, this one is like Disco Elysium, except it’s a cyborg in the future and instead of watching a pair of sideburns sabotage themselves for fifteen hours, you watch the outside of it. a space station for five hours. It’s kind of a neat automated D&D campaign text adventure game where you’re a confused little fragment of a person temporarily traversing this vast, incomprehensible world full of different threads to follow until you can find an existence continues to fall into, your path decided by dice rolls against your stats. It suffers a bit from letting you level up enough to be basically good at everything in the end, but I found it to be an absorbing and ultimately very human story about space people with egg whips for the feet.

sunday gold

Sunday Gold is a point-and-click adventure set in the dystopian future of London that’s obviously not made by Londoners because everyone mispronounces “twat” and tries to merge the confusing point-and-click stuff with the turn-based role-playing game. Doing anything costs action points, you need to complete your turn to get more, and there’s a chance bad guys will spawn when you do this. It certainly saves me from brute-forcing puzzles by running down every key, piece of paper, and rotting chicken carcass in my inventory and rubbing them on everything in the environment, but you use the same action points in combat turn-based and if you end the fight with no AP left and return point-and-click to land, you must immediately end your turn and there is a chance to jump straight into another fight. Potentially endless fights but limited healing items don’t add up to your game design tax return I’m afraid Sunday Gold so swing and miss, but I admire an experimental spirit. That’s why I tried mixing rose petal liqueur with sloe gin.

thymesia

In my last video, I started talking about my struggle with soul fatigue, and it was while playing Thymesia that I realized I had a problem. It’s kind of like Bloodborne but with a plague doctor motif, and I quit playing the game’s first real boss fight after finally gruelingly munching through their first health bar and he unzipped his pants to reveal a second, how far I went “This is too hard and I’m not having fun. Oh my God. Too hard? Not funny? What happened to me? I used to happily slam into the Gaping Dragon all night, I may have hated Thymesia’s unique combat trick where your hits only count if you pull out your other weapon for a second opinion, but Soulslikes in general has fought this arms race to keep pushing things even harder and to the unfair limit, and at some point I feel like I’ve been left behind.” Why is this that everything must continue to beat me? Why can’t I play a game about… being a friendly bear making pancakes? »
Bear and breakfast

Well, that’s more like it. Bear and Breakfast is about as comfortable as cozy games without being printed on a tea towel. We play a bear who lives in the woods on the fringes of human civilization, who stands in stark contrast to basically 100% of everything else with this setting, really loves human encroachment on nature and wants that to happen more so that they may have more of our delicious trash. So they set up and rented out a bunch of vacation cabins in a light craft management game. I want Bear and Breakfast to reunite with Endling: Extinction is Forever, they’ll probably end up fistfighting in a parking lot. Either way, it provided the cozy light simulation experience I wanted until about two-thirds when I realized that since furniture has different stats and there’s no real shortage of materials, the optimal game is just to furnish every room with the same crap, and I wanted to play a game about a bear making pancakes, not one that has to single-handedly build a chain of budget motels where staff spends three hours every morning cleaning up suicide victims.

#roundup #games #havent #reviewed #Punctuation